Just be f*cking nice to each other!

Yesterday, the TV presenter Caroline Flack was found dead at home. She was just forty years old.

Now, Caroline wasn’t my cup of tea. I never really took to her style of presenting, but lots did. And those that were closer to her describe her fondly and with much love. She was living her best life - a bit of celebrity, regular work on some really big shows. And it seemed she loved deeply and passionately. Whatever had happened on the night that led to her arrest and charge for assault appeared to have been regretted and forgiven between Caroline and her boyfriend. The prosecution had taken a line that pursuance was in the public interest however, and she remained bailed to appear for trial.

She did all the right things. Rather than allow hubris to reign, she stood down from her presenting role in Love Island, and tried to ride it out. And anyone watching the news coverage of her appearing at court could tell the ordeal was taking its toll. it must have been like turning the lights off and being stuck in the washer on a spin cycle for her. Why? Because as in just about every other matter in the world these days, everyone ‘piled on’.

I kept my view of Caroline to myself. She wasn’t doing me any harm, and what had gone on at home had been investigated, and charges were laid. That was it. The problem was, it wasn’t. The public were interested. Now that is a million miles away from ‘the public interest’, but folk don’t seem to realise that. because Caroline was a celebrity - a bit like Megan and Harry, too many seem to thing that they are their property, to publicly dissect and demolish on social media. Sensational opinion forming is an incredibly powerful medium. It can be virtually impossible to firewall yourself from it no matter how hard you try. And we all know how painful just one ill-judged comment can be. Multiply that by the hundreds of thousands and it doesn’t take much to understand how that can destroy someone.

And destroy her it did.

The hatemongers, the tabloids, the overtly opinionated all contributed to this perfect storm of hate. She had a right, just like everyone else, to stand accused but remain innocent until proven guilty. But the trial by media - which we all now feed in some shape or form, had already made their mind up. and so, cornered, with her perhaps once perfect life in tatters, Caroline took the only way out she could find.

So my point is this. Whatever someone has allegedly done, be the good guy. Keep the moral and ethical high ground. It might be someone under-performing at work, or even someone on a disciplinary matter. Play to their strengths. Give them a chance to shine, to restore and retain their self-esteem. Find out both sides of the story. We should never shy away from having the difficult conversations, but that doesn’t mean we have to have them in a way that destroys someone.

And thats it. Whatever the issue, can we just try and be nice to each other. If we had been doing that, maybe one lady would be waking up to another day.

Derek Flint Cert.Ed. MCIPR.

Image. Metro