52 years of Experience
March 1st 1968 was a significant day in history for me, as it was the one where I squeezed into the world. And here I am, writing a weekly blog, with a G&T (Tanqueray, Fever Tree, Ice for those who are detail people) looking back on a pretty intense week and a pretty interesting life - so far. It has all been a learning experience.
A senior boss of mine had a really annoying habit of undermining any little bit of progress or success I had with the riposte; “Did it happen because of you, or in spite of you, Derek ?” I might add I wasn’t the only recipient of that motivational and inspiring style, but for me personally, who never gave anything less than 100%, cared deeply about what I did, and always made sure those that deserved it got the plaudits, it had perhaps more of an adverse effect on me than might have been apparent.
I remember talking about it with my coach at the time, Bob Foreman, who is sadly no longer with us. We looked at what might be the right response, and never really came up with the right answer. Whatever it was, it wasn’t going to sound right, and perhaps do more harm than good. So I kept my mouth shut and took the punches.
Just like I did with his other classic; “So, have you now got ‘x’ years experience, or have you just had the same experience ‘x’ times?” Jesus, this guy knew how to motivate! That second statement - doubtless learned on the same, out moded, out dated management training course as the other one, is the biggest pile of garbage I think I’ve ever heard. It can never be the case, and can never be correct.
The human condition is such that we evolve and learn through experience. Often, those lessons most deeply ingrained are through mistakes and failure. A child burning themselves on a stove very quickly learns not to do it again. Feeling your rear wheels break traction in a skid soon creates an intuitive, counter-steering response, which is subtly different every time it happens dependent on speed, friction, angle and a host of other things. The truth is, we just can’t avoid learning. Every single thing we do rewires a neural pathway and leads to a refinement of the eventual outcome.
Even in decision making, faced with exactly the same inputs, we will respond differently on each occasion, because we have a clearer picture of cause and effect. We might even go out and seek information that we now understand with better frame those inputs, leading to a different, more effective outcome. I’m a strong believer that humans are coded to ultimately seek the easiest and most efficient way of achieving a task, and learning helps us achieve this. What we can’t account for is that we all learn at different rates.
That is something really important for a leader to remember. They have already been through all this, and its quite easy to forget, or at least diminish our thoughts of how painful a curve that learning can be. Being smart about it - especially if classic lines like the above are delivered with an audience, is the last thing that a developing individual needs. It might sound big, and clever, but in reality it just makes you sound like a jerk - and certainly not like a ‘people person’.
So, if someone is being a little slower on the uptake than you think they should be, ask the question; “Is this in spite of me, or because of me?” (See what I did there?) Are you creating the learning environment that is going to let them thrive? Do they know it is OK to make a few mistakes? And most importantly - are you employing a nurturing, coaching approach to their development which gives them space and encouragement?
Learning is such an important part of our development. It is crucial we don’t undermine the benefits, and we must treat each learner as an individual. as leaders, it is crucial we step up to the bar, and create that bubble for the greater good.
Derek Flint Cert. Ed., MCIPR